About Town

Weave these words into your next rebuttal:

Non sequitur – it does not follow.

Frontispiece – first page or title page of a book.

Malediction – evil talk about somebody; slander.

Mortification – feeling shame, humiliation, chagrin.

Peripatetic – walking about; itinerant.

Rotunda – a round building with a dome.

Savory – pleasing to the taste or smell.

Secular – worldy, profane.

Sub rosa – secretly, private.

Verve – displaying vigor, spirit, exuberance.

It is impossible to lick your elbow, but who would want to anyway?

A high octane prize awaits the winner of this year’s raffle being held by the Weirton United Way: $1,500 in free gas! The $5 tickets are on sale at various places in town. The raffle sponsors are First Choice America Credit Union and WTOV-TV, and the winner need not be present to claim the prize. The drawing will be Feb. 1 at a giant football party at the Serbian-American Culture Center.

Loosen up and buy a ticket because the charity can use some help. Remember, do unto others.

Do it by supporting the United Way’s football party.

Best wishes to Bill Virgin and his family on the occasion of their buying a bookstore in Burien, Wash. A former Weirton Daily Times reporter, Bill and his family reside in Renton, near Seattle.

A shout-out to Barb Trushel who let us know she enjoys this column.

Six of the seven deadly sins are: anger, covetousness, envy, sloth, lust and pride. What is the seventh? (Look for it at the end of this column.)

Overheard: “He has a split personality and both of them are obnoxious.”

I chuckled at this one: sign at an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

Clever sign at a midwest radiator shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”

One of my golf buddies tells the story of going down state.

He stopped at a restaurant midway there for a gastronomical experience.

He said the food gave him gas, and the check was astronomical! Sounds like a Rick Smith yarn!

I’ve been told that I have a fertile mind – and you know what makes things fertile!

I read this in an obscure flyer: Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history, including: spades, King David; hearts, Charlemagne; clubs, Alexander the Great; and diamonds, Julius Caesar.

It is said that half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? Their birthplace.

I missed this one. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil? Answer: Honey.

Speeches are like babies: easy to conceive, hard to deliver.

The seventh deadly sin is gluttony.

About Town

Expand your vocabulary with these words:

Pernicious – deadly, injurious, deleterious.

Ethane – a colorless, odorless, gas.

Mot juste – the exactly right word or phase.

Peripatetic – walking about; itinerant.

Uncouth – awkward, crude, boorish.

Perfunctory – routine; done w/o care.

Testate – having made and left a legally valid will.

Balacklava – knitted helmet with opening for nose and eyes.

Gamaliel was middle name of the 29th U.S. president. Who was it? What was Thomas Jefferson’s middle name? (He had none.) What was James K. Polk’s middle name? (Knox.)

What is excitement? It’s when they draw your drawing ticket number for $1,500 in free gasoline on Feb. 1 at the Serbian American Cultural Center. Buy your $5 ticket at the United Way office on Main Street, participating businesses or visit my office downtown at the First Choice America Federal Community Credit Union.

It was nice to chat with Brad Buchanan, the new assistant general manager at Williams Country Club. Like myself, he hails from nearby Jefferson County, Ohio – and I know many of his kinfolk.

Brad is an impressive young man who looks confident and capable in his niche at WCC as he interacts with the customers in the dining rooms of the historic stone edifice overlooking the Ohio River.

Congrats to a gentleman and great neighbor, Bill D’Alesio, 67, of Joseph Boulevard, who nears retirement after a long career in banking.

Bill spent 20 years with Henry Schmalsteig at First National Bank on Penco Road and 23 years with United Bank on Three Springs Drive.

Right now he’s working short weeks, but they’ll get even shorter as time goes by.

Bill served on the Chamber of Commerce Board 20 years. A good neighbor, a good citizen and a good friend!

And I have this friend who has a split personality, and both of them are obnoxious.

Then there was this guy who thought a balanced diet was simply a highball in each hand. He even had too little blood in his alcohol stream.

The six phases of a project, according to a buddy of mine named Jack: 1) enthusiasm; 2) disillusionment; 3) panic. 4) search for the guilty; 5) punishment of the innocent; and 6) praise and honors for the nonparticipants.

When he was vice president, old Calvin Coolidge was seated at a dinner party next to a lady who did not recognize him.

“What do you do for a living, Mr. Coolidge?”

“Why, I am the vice president of the United States.”

She exclaimed, “oh my goodness, you must tell me about your job.”

Coolidge sipped his soup and replied, “lady, I just did.”

I’m at that age where everything is clicking – my elbows, knees and neck.

I liked this one:

A tourist to the Aleutian Islands off Alaska broke his glasses. The guide said, “too bad, you can’t get them replaced here.”

“You mean there aren’t any optometrists on the island?”

“If you see one, brother, it will be an optical Aleutian.”