Is issue a deal breaker?

Dear Annie: After a series of, let’s just say, not-so-nice relationships, my best friend and old college roomie set me up with a girl from his hometown named “Stephanie.” I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but this was pretty close. We hit it off and have a ton in common. A year and a half later and we’re engaged. I’m excited to make Stephanie my wife.

We decided to go to a pre-marriage retreat through our church. During the retreat, the leaders ask you all sorts of questions about your plans for the future. We were compatible on all the major answers — except for one. “How many children would you like to have?”

I wrote that one or two would be nice; she wrote five! When we went back into our room to discuss, she explained how she came from a small family and always dreamed of having a bigger family. Well, I came from a large family and never felt that I got enough attention, so I have always wanted to have just one child — two at the most. Is this problem a deal breaker for our relationship? — Apprehensive

Dear Apprehensive: Only you can determine what your own personal deal breakers are, as they’re different for everyone. But if you’re at all willing to consider having more children, perhaps you and Stephanie could meet right in the middle and settle on having three. And if you can diplomatically reach such an important agreement, you and Stephanie have the stuff of a strong partnership. Compromise and marriage go together like a horse and carriage — and that’s a good thing. Two hearts and minds working together are better than one.

(Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. This column is syndicated by Creators Syndicate columnists. Visit the website at www.creators.com.)

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