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Let’s not be judgmental

To the Editor,

Now that gay marriage has become well-established as law of the land, may the bigotry and hatred shown gays vanish entirely and may their unions prosper.

We, the public, have learned much from their battles, only to be recognized as our brothers and sisters and gays have gained wide acceptance from the public at large through ways that most cannot imagine. Giddy with delight, many of us have watched parades in which gays have cavorted about uninhibitedly–lighthearted merriment that yet bears a serious message. Lacking significant import and in terms of carefree fun, circus clown performances cannot compare with the gay parades.

Many questions, however, asked by a confounded populace sadly remain unanswered. It is thus incumbent upon the gay community itself to enlighten a curious and benighted public. Until that happens, let’s postulate a romance involving two gay men that eventuates in marriage.

What does this couple do when they first go on a date? Does the initiator open doors for his prospective lover? Is he shy? Does he demurely ask his date for a goodnight kiss after spending a pleasant evening together, perhaps dining at a fine restaurant? When does he introduce his lover to mom and dad? Or am I just being too nosy.

Let’s nonetheless proceed.

Is it naive to assume that traditional protocols exist for gays? Is it even more naive to assume that our betrothed men will remain chaste until their nuptials have been officiated? Do they admirably postpone consummating their love until the wedding night rather than yielding to an unsanctified lust? (I prefer to believe that preserving one’s virginity until marriage is at least as important for most gays as it is for some “straights.”) Can’t you envision two fine young (or even old) gay men strolling through the park, arm in arm, blissfully contemplating that day when they’ll walk down the aisle and be forever united?

These wholesome couples are to be respected and not judged.

Vigilant admonitions, then, from our liberal Democrat friends are most welcomed, and if heeded, will always pay big dividends in terms of bettering ourselves. The most widely recognized imperative found in their vast and ever-increasing stockpile of politically correct injunctions is “Let’s not be judgmental.”

Who, then, are we to judge? We, the public, can oft-times be defensive, prickly and sanctimonious. But as the liberal Democrat commendably admonishes, “Let’s not be judgmental.” Yet, as I’ve suggested, an honest dialogue with the gay community is clearly needed. Until now, much of the discourse has been diluted with “Let’s not offend” euphemism and tainted with crabbed rebuke. “Be nice,” we are told.

We can do better. Let’s once and for all put an end to homophobia, and let’s point the finger of scorn at gay bashers.

Come out of the closet, shy gay young man. Take courage. I have good news for you–the man of your dreams may be waiting for you. Marriage may be in the offing.

Gail Wickstrom

Newell

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