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Of stink bugs and a retirement dream

“Sorry, I’m messing up your windows,” Better Half said, fly swatter in hand.

I came home from work the other day to find him consumed with waging war on stinkbugs, which seem to be everywhere we look these sunny, September days — on the side of the house, clinging to the window and door screens, buzzing around in a lethargic state, obviously on a mission to find a warm spot in which to weather the winter.

We have put out the “No Vacancy” sign, for sure.

And a “Not Welcome Here” for good measure.

Smack went the swatter.

Smack! Smack! Smack!

Better Half, 62.

Stinkbugs, gazillions. (OK — I’m exaggerating.)

But messy windows, certainly.

“No problem,” I told him, surveying panes that had once been remotely clean at best.  “That’s why God made Windex,” I announced cheerfully, not that I have any intention of using it.

And so it goes at the Kiaski household, another exciting week of this and that –that including a nighttime visitor to the back porch, and I don’t mean stinkbugs.

This one purred and brushed against our ankles.

A beautiful black cat has been stopping by, one with white paws and a very pleasant and sociable spirit. Obviously it belongs to someone.

It doesn’t linger long, but I’m happy to have it stop by as someone who loves cats and dogs and horses and lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

“Don’t feed that cat,” comes Better Half’s warning when this kitty cat comes a calling.

“OK, I won’t,” I promise, handing the cat a little bowl of milk each time it visits.

Better Half is not an animal hater by any measure. Quite the contrary, but we did make a deal when I got two horses to move in with us.

That’s plenty of animals, we agreed. Two thousand-pound critters that each produce about 50 pounds of  manure per day is more than enough animal presence for a newspaper columnist’s husband to manage.

Besides, I can have all the cats and dogs I want, he assures me, just as soon as I retire and can be around 24-7 to take care of them all.

I’m very motivated to do that and have my own little animal kingdom, but at 58, that’s probably not in the realm of financial possibilities just yet.

Better Half, however, think it’s very doable, if I would only refrain from being a consumer, stop eating, quit buying clothes and not get my hair done every other week.

Well, I guess I could let my hair grow.

But I best keep the old day job for now.

Looks like I’m going to need to buy some extra  Windex.

(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and features writer for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times and community editor for the Herald-Star. She can be contacted at jkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)

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