Being low maintenance into sixth decade

There are low-maintenance women, and there are high-maintenance women.

I fall in the low-maintenance category, lucky for Better Half, who has a different opinion on this self-assessment, of course.

But I ask you, in my own defense, what woman on her 60th birthday has high on her to-do list the desire to seek out and purchase a tube of wallpaper seam repair goo?

I rest my case, your honor.

Better Half even went that extra mile, buying me the little roller to go with it. That pushed the total purchase price to just slightly more than $4.

What an extravagant start to the day in which I began my sixth decade of existence.

Better Half kept insisting that nothing was too much for the birthday girl. Wherever I wanted to go, whatever I wanted to do, was OK with him. His facial expression on that offer, however, suggested a slightly different translation.

At any rate, I assured Better Half it was just another day, which is what he tells me when it’s his birthday. No fussing necessary, sweetums.

So off we went goo-glue shopping.

I had been thinking about getting the glue because I’d been debating whether to wallpaper anew a room; paint it, which would ultimately involve Better Half and ensuing stress and strain given his anti-painting disposition; or just make do and fix a few seam spots, saving us a lot of marital grief in the long run, I suppose.

Beyond wallpaper seam repair glue, the day included other excitement — some grocery shopping; an endorphin-inspiring little run; and phone calls that were a little stressful, as callers expect a new 60-year-old to celebrate this occasion with fanfare.

While I was content to do odds-and-end stuff, well-wishers seemed a tad sad.

“So what are you doing today?” came the inevitable question.

“Oh, just hanging out, you know, relaxing,” I offered more than once.

“What??!!” came the response of disappointment.

“I did get a tube of wallpaper seam repair goo — and a roller, too,” I countered, not to brag but to lend assurance that my life truly is one big wild adventure.

I’ve celebrated my 30th, 40th, 50th and now 60 with Better Half. We had a good laugh recalling that on my 30th, what I really, really wanted was a new typewriter, and Better Half surprised me with what was a state-of-the-art one at the time.

A typewriter! Wow, we chuckled. The stuff of museums now.

Better Half and I went out with our “kids” for steak dinners at Texas Roadhouse where ironically we found ourselves seated in a booth section where two patrons were celebrating a birthday, an occasion the restaurant marks by having the birthday person sit on a saddle and encourages everyone to shout “yee-haw” in unison.

After this had happened twice, I looked at my daughter and requested please, please let’s not do this.

As a horse owner, it’s not as if I never get to sit in a saddle, and in my head I am almost always letting out a yee-haw, birthday or not.

Let’s just eat and talk wallpaper strategy.

(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and community editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at jkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)

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