Sign In | Create an Account | Welcome, . My Account | Logout | Subscribe | Submit News | Contact Us | All Access E-Edition | Home RSS

I'm a suit & Alex practices avoidance

September 10, 2008 - Summer Wallace-Minger

I'm a suit.

This is what Eric From The Press Room tells me. Evidently, that means, since I do not work with my hands or because I'm supposedly a "white-collar" worker, that I am in league with "The Man." (I think Alex might be "The Man." If so, I am definitely not in league with him.)

I protested my suit-y-ness, but Eric From The Press Room motioned to his outfit, a cambrey shirt & pants number, somewhat smudgy with grease. Our press is somewhat smudgy. 

"Do you have your name on your chest?" he challenged me.

It was true. "Eric" was embroidered in script right over his heart. My shoulders slumped as I admitted that I did not.

However, I've had time to rethink this, and although I've never worn chambrey, I, too, have several shirts with the company logo on them. Also, I wear those "Hello, my name is ... " and "Visitor" tags all of the time.

That totally counts as having my name on my chest.

So, there, Eric From The Press Room.

You see "Alex practices avoidance" up there? That is because Alex is the master of disappearing off to publisher-y things.

He's got meetings all of the time. I'm not sure what goes on at those meetings, since I'm not privy to them, but I imagine that Alex has to be nice to people, at which I am not very good.

Alex is particularly good at avoiding me. I think he's got an "Annoying Reporter" tracker on his desk.

When I head east into Pennsylvania, it goes " beep ... ... ... ... beep ... ... ... ... beep"

When I'm in Weirton, it goes "beep ... ... ... beep ... ... ... beep ... ... ... beep "

When I head west into Ohio, it goes "beep ... ... beep ... ... beep"

When I'm in Steubenville, it goes "beep ... beep ... beep"

When I'm in the building, it goes "beepbeepbeep"

And finally, when I approach his office, it goes "beeeep!beeeep!beeeep!"

There's no other explanation for why Alex is never there when I go over to that building. None.

Maybe I should quit parking outside his office window, though.



Article Comments

No comments posted for this article.

Post a Comment

You must first login before you can comment.

*Your email address:
Remember my email address.

I am looking for: