Sign In | Create an Account | Welcome, . My Account | Logout | Subscribe | Submit News | Contact Us | Home RSS

Our eccentric Easter holiday

April 14, 2012
By SUMMER WALLACE-MINGER , Weirton Daily Times

Our holiday - with the eccentricities of our extended family - was ... interesting.

As I've stated before, I'm not a workaholic, but, somehow, the holiday plans seem to fall to the very last minute. I've done the shopping at midnight the day before, but, this year, I got my act together and did a blitzkrieg run at the local big box store the Friday before. I spent $80 in candy and toys in 10 minutes. As the Long Suffering Husband said, only I have the sort of mad skills required to spend $8 per minute.

My sister, Foo-Dog, and I usually do the whole Easter egg dying thing together, mostly because, if left to my own devices, I'd give the kids raw eggs and markers. Not really sure who's responsible for the whole affair, but I'd like to have a few minutes with the person or persons responsible.

This year was a banner year, as Fatty Lumpkins managed to tip over the extra-large, economy-size container of red food dye, ruining his pants, staining his little feet red for the immediate future and making it look like someone had slaughtered a cow in the middle of Foo-Dog's kitchen. There was red dye everywhere, and Grandmama was flipping out, running the carpet cleaner and throwing Oxyclean every which way.

Then, the evening before our visit from the Easter Bunny, we realized we had absolutely no idea where the kids' Easter baskets were. This was unfortunate, as it was 8 p.m., the LSH was grumbly on account of the missing baskets, and I had no real desire to venture out and attempt to locate a basket in what I was sure would be the howling wasteland of the holiday display. I mean, have you seen that place the day before the holiday? Half the shelves are empty, and the other half have a random assortment of crappy candy like black licorice jelly beans and stuff that's either smashed or opened.

After looking in the crawl space under the house - Christmas decorations - and in the upstairs hall closet - Halloween decorations - we still hadn't found it, and the LSH was reaching levels of growly I hadn't seen since I accidentally backed my car into a building.

After some searching, we finally located them, stuffed in a box full of rubber bats and cotton-batting spider webs. Once we found them, I vaguely remembered tossing them into the closet. As the LSH pointed out, a fat lot of good it did us then.

I did manage not to fail on the cooking aspect, since I only had to make a side dish and a dessert. I even managed to complete my dishes in a timely fashion. (Usually, we're late to dinner because I'm waiting for something to come out of the oven, but, this year, we were late for an entirely different reason.)

It was a little overcast, but the rain held off enough for the kids to get an Easter egg hunt in. Grampy Grumpy was a little irritated, as Grandmama raided his poker change jar for Easter egg money, but we're used to a pretty much constant low level of irritation from him, especially when the kids are coming and going out the back door.

"Close the door, I've got the heat on!"

In April? Seriously?

So how was your Easter?

(Wallace-Minger is The Weirton Daily Times community editor and can be contacted at She is a Weirton resident.)

I am looking for: