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So where do I fit in athletically?

August 12, 2012
Weirton Daily Times

There was a time when I would have watched the Olympics and been inspired to at least do a sit-up or two.

But at 54, I think I have peaked athletically. Or maybe I've just been dormant all along in that department except for my own very vivid imagination.

Sure, I jog, something I took up 15 years ago because I can do this at my leisure, and it doesn't involve competing, although I've participated in my share of races, accumulating more T-shirts than I can ever possibly use to dust. I even have a big box of first-, second- and third-place ribbons and trophies, largely because there have been three or fewer competitors in my "old bags" age group, as my 64-year-old runner sister and I like to tease each other.

My co-worker Leslie Letusick admits in her column today on page 3E that she's not really all that into watching the Olympics, which are on the verge of wrapping up tomorrow.

My take on the games?

I'm impressed as all get-out by the determination, the drive and the desire of all these athletes, and I accept that the best place for me in the athletic arena is in the audience cheering.

Everybody can't be players, after all - the rest of us real people have to be part of the rah-rah, go-get-'em crowd.

Besides, what could I even do?

The high dive?

I don't think so - I get queasy just looking out a first-floor window.

The balance beam in gymnastics?

I don't think so. I can barely balance a checkbook.

Swimming?

I don't think so - I hate bathing suits.

Run hurdles?

I don't think so - it's bad enough when I have to jump through hoops in life.

Beach volleyball?

I don't think so. Don't get me wrong - I like the sand, and I like volleyball, but those "uniforms?" There's more material on my shoelaces.

Equestrian stuff? Jumping over those poles on horseback?

I don't think so. I like the horse element but prefer the hooves close to the ground, thank you.

Table tennis?

I don't think so - too much standing and too much back and forth.

Fencing?

I don't think so. I have a low pain threshold.

Canoe sprinting?

Honestly, what kind of a person seeks greatness in canoe sprinting? Who wakes up and decides to paddle fast in a water craft?

I think I'd better stick to my own athletic pursuits - one to two sit-ups every four years.

(Kiaski, a resident of Steubenville, is a staff columnist and features writer for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times and community editor for the Herald-Star. She can be contacted at jkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)

 
 

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