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Different types of drivers

September 16, 2012
Weirton Daily Times

To the Editor,

Well, folks, now that summer is just about over, and the children are on their way back to school/college, let's talk about something that I refer to as: Bumper Car Driving.

Some refer to it as defensive driving. I would say that you are driving a tank. But then there are other folks that dwell on the 1960's saying, "Watch out for the other guy." Good choice, because he/she is not watching you!

Alright, let us look at some of these definitions of those on the road that we can't describe.You know, those who drive different than you...or me!

Birdie: Nothing to do with golf. A Woodstock type of bird that is placed on either of the drivers hand. It is used to say hi to those who pull in front of you, unannounced.

Flinger: One who disposes of his smoking device, out of his window while driving. Caution to others; fresh burning ashes emit from these flying objects.

Gloating Vulture: For the females, it is putting on your makeup, as you stare in the rear view mirror. Coffee is in the other hand. As for the males, they are the sports readers, while sipping that hot beverage.

Grateful Hateful: a group of men/women car pooling. On the weekends, they're attending some outdoors picnic/event/sports event, or just going to a concert.

Hallelujah: Related to the next person, but they set their watches to synchonize their time travelled. They praise the roads, and brag to family/friends when they arrive at their destination.

I'll Get Us There: Turn signals are optional, but often not used. These folks are related to someone in NASCAR. Their weaving in and out of traffic is a classic. Word to the wise, if you're not on the police force, do not attempt to follow them.

Zulu Zonkers: Either in a time warp, or time has caught up to them. Model T Fords travel faster than this group. Often looked scared, bewildered, or just out for that "country drive."

Kevin Neverly


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