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Things to do...or not do on Thanksgiving

November 24, 2013
Weirton Daily Times

To the Editor,

Okay folks, Thanksgiving is soon approaching. Oh, the good tidings and cheer, traveling off to that special relative's house for the turkey feast. So, what should we look for...or be aware of? Here is my list of preparations.

1. Be sure that you have in stock Stove Top Stuffing. That guy on television will go into convulsions if you don't have it in the pantry.

2. Where is the green bean casserole? Probably the same place where that place on the map is for deer hunters...also known as deer camp. For as long as I have known, deer camp is somewhere in each state. You travel to the middle of each state. Then, you'll come to a fork in the road. The general store is on the right, the railroad depot is on the left. Just follow the windy road, you'll be there in no time. Oh, the green bean casserole is on the table, next to the two brothers fighting for the turkey wing.

3.Heat up the gravy, Grandma. Some grocery store has this grandma looking over her son, grandson and husband while they went downstairs into the kitchen....for a so-called midnight snack. Ah, but grandma can hear even the mouse carrying the crumbs off the table. Thus, she catches the snackers bare handed.

4. What do you want me to bring? Ah, haven't we heard this question before? Well, if you bring the coffee, it will be consumed. Dinner rolls, crescent rolls, any kind of eatable rolls will be just fine. And please...toss that fruit cake....somewhere!

5. Where is the dessert? Do you have room for Jello? You can't eat that dessert unless it has Cool Whip on it. And then there is the pumpkin family. Pumpkin rolls, pumpkin bars, pumpkin bread, pumpkin spread, pumpkin cake. After all of this, I'd wish they would get the pumpkin out of here.

6. What's on television...there is nothing to watch. Interesting. The Macy's parade that the commentators put you to sleep, or how about the three-hour pre-game warmup for college day football? It gets better. Our glamouring heroes who play the turkey bowl. And it seems like the Detroit Lions, Dallas Cowboys, and the Washington Redskins play that day. Must be a ritual or something. Go figure.

7. After dinner chat..relax. Ah, the day-long preparation...the hustle...the bustle is now all over and we all kick back and stare..or sleep in front of the tele. And as the rerun of today's parade lollygags you to sleep, remember. Tomorrow is the ill-fated.....Black Friday.

That day, I never can figure out. That's why I shop two weeks before all of this happens!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Kevin Neverly

Weirton

 
 

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