You can’t buy graciousness

Dear Annie: My oldest is about to graduate from high school, and we are celebrating with a party. We plan on having our daughter write out a thank-you card to those who give her a gift and help celebrate her big day. However, last year, at several parties we attended, there was a sign that read: “In lieu of sending thank-you notes, we will be giving a donation to a charity.” Is this proper etiquette, or is it simply allowing the graduate to get out of doing what’s right? Please tell us what proper thank-you etiquette is! — Unsure in Ohio

Dear Unsure in Ohio: Sending thank-you notes and donating to charity are both great things, and one does not preclude the other. Yes, I think these parents are missing an opportunity to instill two meaningful life lessons into their children before they go out into the world. The first is that they should always express gratitude for gifts. And the second is that they can’t buy their ways out of everything.

(Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. This column is syndicated by Creators Syndicate columnists. Visit the website at www.creators.com.)

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