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I give much more than I get

Dear Annie: My wife and I feel we are being taken advantage of by our family and friends. I think we have gone over and above with acts of kindness. Some family members don’t even talk to us, let alone acknowledge birthdays and holidays. When we went to church recently, the theme of the pastor’s homily was that as you give to others, so you will be rewarded.

I have just about had it. The more we do, the less respected we are and the more we are taken advantage of. — Feeling Used

Dear Feeling Used: Giving should come from wanting to give and the sense of joy you get when you see someone smile in response to your kind acts. Still, if you feel like you are crossing mountains for your friends and they are barely stepping over a log in the forest for you, it might be time to set some boundaries about what you will and won’t do. There is nothing mean about saying no sometimes. The meanest thing you can do is overextend yourself so that you feel resentful. Then you won’t be of service to anyone, especially those closest to you — your family and friends.

(Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. This column is syndicated by Creators Syndicate columnists. Visit the website at www.creators.com.)

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