To the Editor,

Rejoice — despite the cynicism and the despair of a long-suffering public, relief is visible on the horizon. No longer will any citizen be neglected by a loving, all-embracing government, for politicos in D.C. have at last promised us Utopia.

I speak of course of the Green New Deal, originated primarily by Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez. This wide-eyed innocent recently elected to Congress has, like a meteor bursting radiantly in the darkest night, dispelled the anxieties of those lost in a dismal swamp of gloom.

What is the message of this visionary one might ask? In brief, it’s green energy generated exclusively from solar and wind sources; likewise compatible modification of buildings and infrastructure within a 10-year time frame (we have only 12 years to save the planet), and not least of all, a modicum of government largesse dispensed to everyone whether gainfully employed or not. How did the USA ever become a superpower without such a recipe for greatness?

“Finally,” AOC cheerfully peeps, “socialism for all.”

From the mouths of babes shall come words of wisdom. There will be no more airplanes polluting the skies with combustive waste products. Happily, we all will be riding trains and driving electric cars with their $12 thousand batteries. To boot, there will no more flatulating cows spoiling the air with their voluminous methane-enriched emissions. “Beef” will become a four-letter word.

Rejoice, ebullient liberal, rejoice, recalcitrant conservative–help is on its way. But impediments to progress must first be confronted. The main problem of course is the orange man in the White House, who has everyone frightened to death. Let’s investigate the possibility that as a small child he may have been guilty of jaywalking. And could he possibly have chewed gum while in class in elementary school?

Assuredly, all is by no means lost. Let us then hope that that illustrious dispenser of justice, Robert Mueller, this beardless ayatollah of rectitude, finishes the job along with his dedicated staff. No stone should be left unturned in cleaning the slate of the orange man’s perfidiousness and low-life dealings as manifested by that courageous man of the hour, Michael Cohen.

The future indeed looks promising. Some say the chief obstacle in the path of bringing the Green New Deal to fruition is its cost, estimated as $93 trillion. When asked about this, AOC replied “We’ll simply pay for it.”

“It’s a real big number,” one of her bedazzled young supporters replied when was asked about the cost. “But all we need to do is abolish the $20 bill and print $100 bills,” this effervescent naif chirped.

Let’s hope AOC is right. Maybe she knows something about money that we don’t. After all, the Obama addition of $10 trillion to the national debt looks piddling in contrast to the cost of her program. And, with the national debt already at $22 trillion, what’s another $71 trillion?

Vote out the old fogies. Three cheers for AOC and the Socialist States of America.

Gail Wickstrom

Newell