‘The Bridesmaid’s Daughter’

Memoir on Steubenville native Carolyn Schaffner — ‘tragic story’ of famous model, Grace Kelly friend and bridesmaid who suffered from untreated mental illness

I finished the book Tuesday evening, feeling triumphant that I'd completed it, yet a little sad that it had ended.

With any good read worth its muster, that's my reaction, and such was the case with "The Bridesmaid's Daughter," written by Nyna Giles.

That it's a mother-daughter story resonated with me, given I am fresh with grief from the Feb. 8 death of my own mother, Ruth Ann Hout.

But that this book is about a Steubenville native, that it is well written, insightful, moving, authentic and fascinating, kept my interest from the prologue to even the listing of photo credits.

"The Bridesmaid's Daughter: From Grace Kelly's Wedding to a Woman's Shelter -- Searching for the Truth About My Mother" (St. Martin's Press, New York, $26.99) goes on sale Tuesday.

Publicity material describes it as "a poignant and unflinching portrait of Carolyn Scott Reybold, whose glamorous life was sidelined by mental illness, and of the daughter who reclaimed her memory. Now, Nyna Giles, with co-author Eve Claxton, embarks on an investigation to unearth the lost pieces of her mother's remarkable life story."

The call to the newsroom about the book being published at last came in recent weeks from Peter Giles, Nyna's husband. The couple live in Pound Ridge, N.Y., Northern Westchester. He explained that, four years ago, the newspaper had published a feature story about Carolyn Schaffner and Nyna's journey to write a book in her mother's honor.

Because Steubenville plays such a pivotal role in the memoir about a daughter's search to understand her mother -- once a bridesmaid when friend/model/actress Grace Kelly married Prince Rainier of Monaco in 1956 and one of the first models at the now legendary Ford modeling agency in New York -- would someone at the newspaper be interested in writing a follow-up, he inquired.

Yes!

The original story, published in the Herald-Star Feb. 24, 2014, was written by now retired staff writer Dave Gossett. He had interviewed Nyna during her visit to Steubenville, which included time spent at the Jefferson County Historical Association Museum, where she enjoyed seeing a collection of early photos of her mother, who reigned as Steubenville's Sesquicentennial Queen in 1947.

She mentioned then that she had come across a 2008 Herald-Star story online, this one about efforts to organize a dinner to honor her mother. Nyna's hope was to connect with people mentioned in it, all part of her research on a woman she described as "a very complex person who had led a very glamorous life as a young woman and then became a young mother with three daughters."

Nyna remembered coming to Steubenville once before to visit family, but that was it. She was about 11.

Her research for the book began in Steubenville; then to Philadelphia, the hometown of Grace Kelly, with whom Carolyn became fast friends when Carolyn moved to Manhattan in 1947 and the two lived in the Barbizon Hotel for Women; to Los Angeles, where Nyna met with former Ford agency models; to New York; and finally Monaco, where Nyna received a private tour of the Royal Palace.

Carolyn's early years seemed like "something out of a movie," according to information from St. Martin's Press.

But that would change.

"Like many women of her generation," it noted, "Carolyn didn't wait long to get married and start a family. In Malcolm Reybold, Carolyn found a steady, traditional husband. By the time Nyna was born, the youngest of three daughters, Malcolm had moved the family out to a big, but isolated, house on Long Island. Carolyn changed with this new life. The mother Nyna knew became a withdrawn, distant person. Carolyn kept her isolated, convinced that she was ill. Nyna rarely went to school and spent her childhood visiting doctors in a vain attempt to diagnose her ever-shifting ailments. As Nyna grew up, Carolyn's mental state continued to deteriorate -- she was struggling with undiagnosed mental illness. Not until after her mother's death did Nyna learn that she had been suffering from postpartum psychosis. Had Carolyn's mental illness been acknowledged and treated, the later years of her life would have been dramatically improved. Today, this illness is considered temporary and treatable."

Asked to describe her relationship with her mother, Nyna responded, "As a child, I never left her side, and I thought we were close because of that. I confused her inability to encourage a normal amount of separation between us as closeness. Now, with my knowledge of postpartum depression/psychosis, I know that I never experienced the same bond that my older sisters had with her," she added.

"She became more and more distant as the years went by, all due to untreated mental illness, but we were never out of touch," Nyna said. "It's difficult to truly connect with someone who is detached from reality. It wasn't until I was in my late 30s that I understood how I had to advocate for her, and I had to give up the idea of her ever being a parent to me."

Nyna was 47 when her mother, 79, died in 2007 at the Medford Multicare Home in Long Island, N.Y. Before that her mother had lived at a shelter for a decade, despite offers to live elsewhere.

"She refused offers of help and treatment, which is not uncommon for someone with an untreated mental illness. Her mother had wanted her to come back to Steubenville, and she also had a cousin in Ohio who had offered her a place to live. She wanted to be in New York City," she explained.

Nyna expressed gratitude for the local interest shown in her book, communicating answers through e-mailed questions.

"So much of my mother's story centers on her early life in Steubenville, and I think the folks in your city will find her story of great interest," she noted.

Clarification on her mother's name generated the explanation, "She was born Dorothy Carolyn Schaffner. She was always referred to as Carolyn and never really used her first name," Nyna explained. "When she began modeling with the Ford Agency, Eileen Ford suggested that she shorten her name to Carolyn Scott, which became her working name. Then she married my father, Malcolm Reybold. She then used the name Carolyn Scott Reybold or Carolyn Reybold," she added.

Carolyn's mother was Dorothy Lewis, whose first husband was Harold Schaffner from West Virginia. "Harold Schaffner was my mother's father," Nyna noted. "Dorothy and Harold separated when my mother was 2 and then divorced when she was 6. Dorothy married Joseph Hosfelt. He was my mother's stepfather. Their home address was 1416 Pennsylvania Ave. in Steubenville."

Several local residents were interviewed for the book, including Jane Noltemeyer, John Criss, Nancy Green, Rex Tate, Jefferson County Historical Association officer Charlie Green, Dottie Bossert and Kay Gosseye.

There were relatives, too, including her mother's half sister Joyce Hosfelt, her half brother Terry Hosfelt and his daughter, Tracy Hosfelt. "I also interviewed her cousins, Patricia James and Jacqueline Benbure at the Golden Lamb in Lebanon, Ohio."

What she found most interesting about her mother's life in Steubenville was her role as the city Sesquicentennial Queen in 1947 in celebration of the 150th anniversary of Steubenville's founding.

"I am so grateful to Charlie Green and the Jefferson Historical Society for the day that we spent there, and for all of that they knew about my mother and shared with me -- articles, photos, etc.," Nyna wrote, pointing out that her mother's prize money -- $500 -- was used in part to buy a one-way train ticket to New York City.

"It's important to note that the prize money my mother won for her role as queen gave her the chance to go to New York to pursue her career as a model," she noted. Her mother's modeling career spanned from 1948 to 1956, as her photos appeared in Seventeen, McCall's, Glamour, Junior Bazaar, Mademoiselle and others.

While Green was helpful, so, too, was Sandy Day, now retired local historian/genealogist with the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County.

"She informed me that she had a folder on my mother in their Ohio room. She ended up sending me many articles about my mother. I also heard from other people that had known my mother," Nyna said.

Nyna also was interested to learn that, after high school, her mother had worked at The Hub department store in downtown Steubenville.

"I loved learning about what life was like for a teenager in that era, how they loved to go to the movies," she wrote.

The final paragraph of the prologue sets the tone for the book and Nyna's mission:

"When my mother was alive, I never managed to learn what had made her the way she was, why she was so removed from the world, how the once glamorous model and bridesmaid ended up sleeping each night in a shelter. It was only after she was gone that I was finally able to understand what had happened, to go back to the past, in search of the woman my mother had been before I was born -- and to the childhood I'd lost after everything changed."

Did the book undertaking bring closure?

"Writing the book was quite painful at times, often bringing on daily tears as I confronted how tragic my mother's life was," she noted. "I would say that I'm at peace knowing that I have done everything possible to understand what happened to my mother, to honor her career, and I have gotten much joy from connecting with so many people that loved her. I feel like the book is just the beginning of my journey into mental health advocacy," she noted.

"My book is about love and forgiveness, and I want everyone to know that my mother was a beautiful, brave and kind person. Unfortunately, her life was destroyed by untreated mental illness, which had a serious impact on our family," Nyna said in response to what message she hopes readers of the book embrace.

"It is my hope that, after reading my book, people will understand that early intervention is critical in the treatment of mental illness. My mother's tragic story is an example of what can happen if mental illness is not treated. We need more mental health screenings, so that others won't suffer in the manner that my mother did."

(Kiaski can be contacted at jkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)