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Dear Annie: I am concerned about several of my six siblings. We were brought up very strictly, and we had shame if we missed church or sinned. We're all adults with kids of our own now. Over the years, several siblings and their spouses have become obsessively religious. It's their drug. No amount is enough.
They practice Catholicism compulsively, and religious conversation is infused daily. For them, it's about practicing religious rules and expectations, more than the spiritual meanings behind behaviors. They often cannot answer why they do their rituals but know they must. They ask strangers if they went to church that day and what affiliation they are. They embrace only people of their faith. They avoid anyone else. They seem to need the "high" from attending church: When they travel, finding a church is a source of anxiety.
Many of their children do not participate. My siblings feel that they have failed as parents, and are in constant fear their children will go to Hell.
They have become dysfunctional. They've lost their personalities to this disorder. What causes this? Are they filling a void? Is it low self-esteem and fear? What can others do when too much of a good thing turns obsessive-compulsive, but they see it as "growing in one's faith"? -- Outside the Bubble
Dear Outside the Bubble: Indeed, virtually anything can become toxic in large enough doses. It sounds as though your siblings may suffer from scrupulosity -- which the International OCD Foundation defines as a "subtype of OCD in which the person's obsessions have a religious or moral theme" -- or another kind of OCD.
You can express concern, citing all the troubling behaviors that you mentioned in your letter to me. They'll likely write you off. But saying your piece might bring you some measure of peace.
I strongly encourage you to find a support group such as those organized by NAMI (https://www.nami.org/find-support) or Families Anonymous (https://www.familiesanonymous.org). You can find more information about OCD and relevant resources at https://iocdf.org. While you cannot change their behavior, you can find a way to maintain serenity even in the face of their dysfunction.
(Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. This column is syndicated by Creators Syndicate columnists. Visit the website at www.creators.com.)