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To the Editor,
Okay folks. Before I begin to type about my beloved lawn mower, I want to clear the air about one thing. My writing.
When I do my titles, my structuring of sentences, and anything that deals with any subject that I write about… sometimes they can be a little far fetched. Capitals where they should be. Quotations. Commas, periods, and all the like.
The reason that I do these things is to get your attention. So be it. Okay, let's get to the lawn stuff.
Well, here it is. Spring. Time to pull those machines out of storage, and check all the fluids. Don't forget to change the spark plugs. Yes, the weed eaters and lawn edge trimmers come out of their hiding as well.
Now, let's talk about me and my lawn mower.
Last fall, my trusty and reliable lawn mower decided to go to lawn mower heaven. This unit was always a one pull of the steel wire that starts the engine. Always. Never a doubt in my mind.
As my wife and I said our goodbyes, the search began for my new grass eater. The first mower cost a mere 1999.00. Yes. 1999.00. And that was without tax. And this could be a down payment for a house, or a vehicle. Of course that was a no.
Next stop was a retail store. There was a clearance on lawn mowers. As we looked at different brands, we found one that seemed to be compatible to our needs. The cost…469.00. A lawn mower. 469.00. Let's just hope it works.
As we made the purchase and left the store, an associate helped me load this unit. As my wife and I thanked him, we departed for home. My yard was waiting for me, and that dandy beast of green stuff.
Now here comes the fun part. Assemble this mower. The booklet has numerous languages. And our language printed out was written by a scientist. Connect A to B. C to D. X to PDQ.
This mathematical equation equals 1. And one confused 65 year old.
Next, add the oil that came with the mower. Don't forget the gas. Next on the directions was something like this:
Place the battery in the chamber next to the frame of the engine. To prime the engine, push the semi round button next to the battery chamber. Push three times. Start the engine by pulling the black handle on top of the engine. Don't forget to grasp the handle at the end of the mower.
Okay. Battery in chamber. Prime motor. Grab handle at the end where my hands hold the mower. Pull handle. Start. Put put put.
Really? After twenty put put puts, there is a key start on the handle. Turn the key and push the button. Varoom. Voila! Now grass cutting time.
As I proceeded to push my mower, another attachment on the mower handle was a small lever. Self propelled front wheels. Yes. Now I can climb my Mount Everest back yard.
Well, I had to call the department of highways. I had to borrow an earth mover and a bulldozer to move me up the mountain. After we successfully reached the top, I began to defend, cutting my lawn gracefully. A little out of breath, I conquered. I won. Yay me.
Now that story is a memory, I won't tell you the other story.
My electric lawn mower. Good day!
Kevin Neverly
Weirton