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To the Editor,
A brownnoser is defined as one who attempts to curry favor in an obsequious manner. Most are guilty of this at some time or other in life while some remain brownnosers throughout.
In early stages of life, one may attempt to win the good graces of his elementary classroom teacher. Impeccably neat in appearance, well-scrubbed and tidy, he is seen in his Buster Brown attire going about admonishing his fellow students to be nice, while bringing a well-polished apple to his teacher. A true "Little Goodie Two-Shoes" is he, ready to recite his Sunday School lesson to anyone, whether interested or not. One such brownnoser was gleefully referred to as "The Little Toad" by his oft-unruly classmates.
In our high school ROTC company, brownnosers stood out prominently. Our instructor, an erstwhile army sergeant who'd seen action in the WWII Battle of the Bulge, frowned openly on the few brownnosers in our outfit. Stocky of build and only a few inches above five feet in height, he was affectionately known to the troops in our outfit as "Piggy."
"All I expect you to do now is to perfect military drill and to shoot straight (22-caliber marksmanship was an essential part of our regimen)," Piggy reminded us in the short years following the Allied victory over the Nazis. "No pomp and ceremony, we've had enough of that crap from Hitler with his torchlight parades."
The handful of brownnosers in our outfit were categorized by the troops as "One-ringers, Two-ringers and Three-ringers." A One-ringer got his schnozzle up Piggy's grommet only once, a Two-ringer but twice and a Three-ringer was insufferable. At least three brown rings on his nose. This all-too-eager-to-please guy never wised up and most likely brownnosed his way throughout life.
Brownnosing in industry has become more sophisticated. In one instance I recall a pleasant fellow explaining to his supervisor what he'd accomplished and what was further required. A dumpy little guy, there he stood, neatly attired in his Buster Brown outfit while rocking on his heels and smiling ingratiatingly as he laid out his rather mediocre achievements. But he managed to impress his supervisor and thus brownnosed his way to become a first level manager. He always placated everyone attempting to remain accepted. Occasionally he'd treat his subordinates to a free lunch in trying to reinforce his standing.
In my career as a consultant engineer, I've met but three men, who insofar as I know, have never brownnosed a single day in their entire lives. Their accomplishments are impressive, but unfortunately an exposition of their achievements is postponed until I've been graciously granted more time and space.
In the meantime, try not to come down too hard on brownnosers.
Gail A. Wickstrom
Newell