Being very predictable this time of the year
I’m so predictable at the end of an old year and the beginning of a new one.
I wear my baggy clothes and enjoy what the holiday affords — some time to chill and indulge in food that’s bad for you, which explains why it’s so delightful.
It wouldn’t be a New Year’s Eve time of celebration if I didn’t polish off one or two cheese balls or cheese logs with a sleeve or two of Ritz crackers, not to mention some Triscuits, the latter of which my family reacts to with a collective yuck face.
How can you eat Triscuits? That’s like shredded wheat that played out in traffic and got run over.
Don’t worry about it, I say. Fetch your own snacks.
I have to have some French onion dip, too, in memory of my mother’s taste buds for something we didn’t have all the time growing up, but always on New Year’s Eve, so it had to be extra good, right, and holiday menu worthy.
Not the best breath mint in the world, mind you, but pretty good eating on a salty chip.
This New Year’s holiday time has been similar to the Christmas holiday offering a long weekend — staying in, snacking, lounging in PJs, more snacking and watching TV with my eyes open and closed, those sort of metabolism-boosting activities.
Can doing nothing be an art form at which one excels?
I think the most exerting thing I’ve done during the Christmas and New Year’s holidays is the nightly ritual of turning off all the Christmas lights — multiple trees and illuminated decorations and displays here and there, in one room or another. Exhausting.
It’s enough to work up an appetite.
I enjoyed looking at all the snow accumulating on Christmas Eve, knowing I didn’t have to go anywhere, other than the driveway to eventually help shovel it out of the way and down to the barn to give Thunder and Tucker their holiday fare and assure them that they’d been very good this year and Santa would most definitely bring them some treats.
I didn’t cook at Christmas — major surprise, I know — but instead made Christmas Eve stops on my way home to pick up soup, Chinese food and, last but not least, a steak dinner for me.
I kid you not, the dinner bag for that steak meal included not one, not two, but seven rolls. Seven for one person!!!
The excess made me giddy in my pursuit of a stick of real butter, not that margarine stuff. It’s a holiday, by golly.
They must know that bread and I have had a longtime relationship, a bond that won’t soon be broken.
So Dec. 24 was spent languishing, my mind good and blank, and the New Year’s holiday was to be pretty much of a followup to that.
I’ve spent the holidays checking in with relatives and all my siblings to make sure no one is being more productive than I am.
I believe I speak the truth when I say we’re all hard at work doing a lot of nothing.
Of course, there have been moments as I make my way from the couch to the refrigerator when I’ve looked around and started to identify some things that could constitute projects for the new year. I’ve seen a notepad and a pen, waiting to document resolutions.
Fortunately, my vision improved to focus on a cheese ball.
(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and community editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.)