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On those rare winter days when the temperature somehow finds a way to reach the upper '50s or low '60s, I say a small, quiet prayer that it will remain permanent until summer.
Like so many others, I am so ready for this season to be over.
Actually, I was ready for winter to be done with in October -- even though it was technically still autumn. At least according to the calendar.
I am fairly certain that whoever was the creator of today's calendar, well ... they pretty-much got it all wrong.
So, I did an Internet search to discover who this creator of the calendar was and the web informed me it wasn't created by just one specific person.
Well, of course it would say that. I wouldn't want my name to be associated with such a misguided reference, either.
There are definitely some flaws with the 12 months of the year.
And while I am certainly no expert on the subject, I have at least familiarized myself about which months are colder or warmer than others.
For instance, why does winter not begin until Dec. 20 or 21?
Did they never step outside during the month of November?
Seems to me I have seen snow in October, too.
Yes. Definitely, yes. I remember this without fail, as I have been witness to the absolute looks of anguish plastered all over several childrens' faces as they were out trick-or-treating in their parkas and earmuffs.
Wait, that might have been me.
It is perhaps the greatest horror of their young, Halloween lives -- having to cover up their cool costumes for the sake of their health.
But that's the ramifications of the calendar telling us it is not yet winter. Maybe next Halloween they should just dress like a bear.
And then there's the beginning of autumn.
If I had been put in charge of developing the calendar I would have had fall begin when football season starts.
Why can't seasons simply begin on the first day of the month?
Then there are the holidays. Days celebrated only because we feel it necessary since they are marked on the calendar.
For instance, why does America set aside a special day for a groundhog?
For an entire country to await a critter's shadow as the deciding factor on whether or not we will have six more weeks of winter is kind of nuts.
I realize it is all in fun, but it sort of says something about one's mental stability, if you ask me.
But nobody asked me.
But Groundhog Day as a popular holiday?
If you look a little further down on the calendar you will notice winter is not scheduled until March 20 or 21. So there is always going to be six more weeks of winter. Despite what the groundhog says.
So, why don't we just let him live his life and leave him alone from now on?
To reiterate, there will always be six more weeks of winter.
We've already discussed Valentine's Day. Moving on ...
Remember when Abraham Lincoln's birthday was celebrated on Feb. 12 and George Washington's birthday was remembered on Feb. 22?
And then somebody got the idea to combine both birthdays. Nobody likes to share birthdays. But yep, George won.
Now, the two most-popular presidents, share a birthday on Feb. 22 -- otherwise known as Presidents Day.
And any president can be celebrated on this day and shuffled in to the mix.
I'm still not sure how Washington beat out Lincoln. But people get the day off from work for this. That's amazing. I believe if you consistently complain about a president, you shouldn't get to celebrate the holiday.
And I am not impressed with daylight savings time, either. This is a concept that should have remained strictly an idea. Why would anyone intentionally want it to be dark outside all the time?
What does it really save?
It pretty much just makes everyone stressed because they either forget to change their clocks, (resulting in a day you're either really late or really early) or the days become increasingly depressing.
I mean, you leave for work in the morning and it's dark. Then when you leave work to return home, it's dark again. Depressing.
Perhaps the daylight savings guy should have just moved to Alaska.
The dictionary defines a calendar as, "A system for fixing the beginning, length and divisions of the civil year and arranging days and longer divisions of time (such as weeks and months) in a definite order."
Well, "the system" is a tad bit broken. Perhaps one day someone will come along and revisit its contents.
After all, many calendars have been created since the beginning of time. But I think this one probably takes the cake.
And now I'm left wondering why there isn't a National Cake Day.
(Stenger is community editor for the Herald-Star and Weirton Daily Times.)