It’s hard to believe it has already been an entire year since I wrote a column about my oldest son, Dylan, turning 32.

I blinked.

And this week, he turns 33.

Still a good age, although it reminds me of how quickly time passes.

It also shows me how I am really no further ahead than I was more than three decades ago.

And it can hurt terribly.

It truly does sadden me at times to realize I didn’t use the life I was given here wisely.

But then again, how many of us really do?

How many of us take advantage of the life God gave us and use it to our fullest potential?

I have never done anything remotely profound, nor anything productive.

I always meant to write a book.

But time escaped me.

Before I knew it, decades passed.

Blinks.

I realize I did not have a fantastic career in which I thrived.

The fact is I continuously struggled with my finances, day in and day out.

I still do.

I have wasted — and what’s more — lost, a great deal throughout those 33 years.

But I have also learned a lot.

I discovered the true meaning of the word “love.”

Genuine love.

I mean, how can anyone who has had a child not know the definition?

And with the blessing of each of my children, that love — a love which I thought could never be surpassed — is met with only greater love.

Who knew?

We think we could never possess more love in our heart for anyone else in that moment we first hold our baby.

That is … until we are blessed with another son or daughter.

Somehow, in some way, our heart makes room for even more love.

How is that even possible?

And grandchildren?

Well, granchildren are on an entirely different level of love, altogether.

Yes, I think about these things every year.

Every year, around this time … on my sons’s birthday.

Sept. 25, 1992, will always be the day that changed my life. Changed my world.

I was no longer responsible for just me.

Someone depended on me. Who knew a 6-pound infant could have such an effect?

I didn’t know when I first held his tiny hand in mine, that he would be the one who held my hand through all of my most difficult days.

He is amazing.

They all are amazing.

And yes, there were many regrets along the way. Of things I didn’t do and things I didn’t say, because I had children to raise.

Of course, those things would not have given me as much joy. Of this, I am certain.

The time that I was given here may not have included a passionate love story.

Nor was I popular, rich, surrounded by friends.

And the only luck I’ve ever known is bad luck.

But in the overall picture, I had three someones who were dependant upon me.

Each taught me how to love, forced me to think about what I missed out on and allowed me to consider what I gained.

At the end of my life, I will honestly be able to say that it was all worth it. They were all worth it.

And I am reminded of that every single September.

(Stenger is the community editor of the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at jstenger@heraldstaronline.com.)