I’m not the perfect father. But what’s reassuring is that neither are any of you. I don’t say that to slam any of you, it’s just a fact. None of us are perfect fathers. We all make tons of mistakes. But, it’s a goal for many of us.

Some of us look to the secular “experts” to help us become better fathers. Some of us look to those “Christian experts” to help us.

Today, we’re going to look at one of the most familiar passages in the Bible. It’s a passage that really reveals what the perfect father looks like, because it’s focus is the perfect father. If you’re a father, this verse will give you an idea of what it means to be a good dad. It teaches us four ways our Heavenly Father relates to us.

First of all… A Father Loves His Children. “For God so loved the world…” Here’s a fascinating fact: The moment your children are born, you love them. In fact, we love them even in the womb! I used to talk to my children through my wife’s belly button! Did you guys do that? I know that most of you men wouldn’t admit it, but you probably did the same thing.

The point is this: they haven’t done anything to earn your love, but you love them anyway. Why? Because they’re yours. And you’ll continue to love them, no matter what. Your children might disappoint you.

They might anger you and at times you might want to disown them, but you’ll always love them. I don’t think I’ve ever met a father who’s said, “I don’t love my children.” Even mean fathers love their children. Here’s the problem: We don’t always express it. It must be some kind of a guy thing that stops men from saying “I love you.”

Really! Have you ever noticed that? I’ve heard men say, “My wife knows I love her. I told her once when we got married.” And we do that same thing with our children, except that we don’t always get those words out the first time. It’s like we assume that our children know we love them because we let them hang around the house and eat up our food and stuff.

They can’t hear what you’re thinking; they can only hear what you say. That’s why it’s so important for a father to express his love for his children in what he says and what he does.

Our heavenly father expresses his love to us time and time again. Even in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve had sinned, God took care of them — he made clothes for them and covered their nakedness. Throughout scripture God affirms his love for us. We know he loves because he says so. (Deuteronomy 7:7, 13; 23:5; 2 Chronicles 9:8; Isaiah 43:4; Countless Psalms)

God tells us he loves us, and he shows his love for us. His ultimate act of love was sending his son Jesus Christ into the world to die for our sins. Maybe your father didn’t know how to express his love for you. If so, you can be sure he regrets it. But don’t make the mistake of transferring your earthly father’s weaknesses to your heavenly father. God loves you unconditionally. He said so, and he backs up his words with actions. Regardless of the relationship you have with your earthly father, you can have a personal, heart-to-heart relationship with your heavenly father. He loves you unconditionally, just because you’re you, just because you’re his. That’s what a father does. He loves his children. Dads, don’t forget to show your children how much you love them. And don’t forget to say those words, “I love you.”

Secondly…A Father Gives To His Children. Jesus said… “God so loved the world that he gave…”What did God give to us? His son. He sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins, so that we could be forgiven and live with him forever. That’s God’s ultimate gift to us, but it’s not the only gift he’s given us. What has God given me, you might ask. Look around at all you have.

He’s given us our homes, our parents, our skills, our talents, our intellect. He gives us sunshine and rain, warm weather and cold weather, beautiful flowers and trees to decorate the landscape. He gives us birds to sing to us. He gives us animals and insects to clean up after us. God gives to us every day of our lives. He meets our needs; he answers our prayers, He tackles our problems. Our God is a giving God!

If you’re a father, there are two things you need to give to your children. Your money and your time. Both are important. An abundance of one doesn’t negate the need for the other. Your children need you to provide for them materially, and they need to for you to be there for them emotionally.

There are some things in life we have to do without because we have a greater obligation: to provide for our children. As a father, there are sacrifices you’ll have to make. In fact, you’ve probably made lots of sacrifices already. They’re part of the job description, and part of the joy of being a father. Your children may never fully understand how much you sacrifice for them. Personally, I think that’s the way it should be.

A father gives to his children. He gives time and he gives money. Both are essential, and we have to be diligent to maintain a delicate balance between the two. It would be easier to be just the provider, and let the wife take care of raising the children. But, children need their father to be more than a provider. They need him to be emotionally available, too. If spending time with your father isn’t an option, here’s something to keep in mind. Your heavenly father is always available. You can call on him anytime, day or night. You can talk to him about your troubles, your fears, your dreams, and he will listen. He is always available. A father gives. He is there for his children.

Thirdly… A Father Has Expectations For His Children. John 3:16 is God’s plan of salvation. It shows us what he does for us — he gave his son so that we can be saved — and it shows us what he expects from us: “…that whoever believes in him…” We have a role to play in our own salvation. God expects us to believe in him. He doesn’t expect more than we can give, but he does expect us to do what we can. We don’t have the capacity to be perfect. We don’t have the capacity to pay the price for our own sins. But we do have the capacity to believe. This is what God expects from us. A good father has certain expectations for his children, certain requirements that must be met. He isn’t unreasonable about it, he doesn’t demand more than his children can give, but he does require a certain level of responsibility from his own children.

Eli was a man of God, a priest who served in the temple. Though Eli he was faithful as a priest, he was a failure as a father. The sons of Eli had no respect for the law of God. They defiled sacrifices, they extorted from those who brought offerings to God, and they slept with the women who served in the temple. Eli knew about their behavior, but did nothing about it. As a result, God judged Eli. (1 Samuel 2)

A father has a responsibility to set the standard for his children. He must say, “This is the way we live, and nothing less is acceptable.” And of course, it is the father’s responsibility to lead by example. A father’s attitude must be “Do as I do”, not merely “do as I say.”

Just like our heavenly father expects that we do our part: we must believe in his son. Finally…A Father Prepares His Child for the Future. Jesus said, “…that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

God has created a great future for you and me. He is offering us eternal life. He doesn’t want us to spend eternity without him. He wants us to live in his presence forever, and he provided a way to make that happen. He did this by sending his son, Jesus Christ, into the world to die on the cross for our sins. When we put our faith in Jesus, our sins are forgiven, and God gives us eternal life. Christianity isn’t about man finding his own way to God. It’s about God reaching out to us through his son. God had a vision for your future.

CONCLUSION

God gives us a blueprint for fatherhood, because he is the perfect father. He loves us, he gives to us, he expects us to follow him, and he prepares a future for us. These are things we can do for our children.

Not as a tyrant, but as a gentle, loving, caring father. If your father is gone, if you didn’t have the relationship with your father that you would have wanted, you can take comfort in the fact that God is your father, and he is exactly the kind of father you want. He loves you, and he will help you experience fulfillment in this life and for all eternity, if you will put your faith in him.

(“From the Pulpit” is a weekly sermon provided by the clergy members of The Weirton Ministerial Association)